When Pregnancy Feels Hard: Using Gratitude to Navigate the Storm
Whether it’s your first pregnancy or your tenth, each journey into motherhood is an incredibly personal and unique experience. You’re never quite in the same situation, and the circumstances and mindset you bring along vary with each pregnancy. Speaking of uniqueness, did you know that around 1 in 5 women experience mental health challenges during pregnancy? It’s a startling fact. The reasons behind this can be as diverse as the women themselves, stemming from a mix of factors like hormonal changes, shifts in identity, genetic predispositions, and external influences.
And probably when you’re throwing up, having a hard day with pregnancy, or facing frustrations with workplace leave, your partner, family, finances, or whatever, the last thing you want to do is practice gratitude and spout sunshine and rainbows. I remember vividly during my second pregnancy, the rollercoaster of emotions I went through. It was a wild ride. One moment I’d be riding high on excitement, and the next, I’d be plunged into fear or anxiety. Whether it was the fluctuating hormonal levels, morning sickness, or the worry about impending parenthood, every day felt like a new challenge. It was during this turbulent time that I stumbled upon the incredible power of gratitude to help navigate the storm of emotions that can come with pregnancy. In this article, I’ll share with you some insights and practical tips on how practicing gratitude can be your lifeline during these challenging times.
Gratitude Helps — According to Science
Numerous scientific studies have delved into the subject of gratitude, and their collective findings resoundingly support the idea that embracing gratitude and appreciation can be profoundly beneficial across various aspects of our lives. A noteworthy study conducted by HeartMath sheds light on how our emotional states can influence our heart patterns and rhythms. What they discovered was quite fascinating: during times of frustration or stress, our heart rhythms tend to become more erratic. However, when we intentionally shift into a state of gratitude and appreciation, our hearts exhibit a more consistent, relaxed pattern.
This insight has significant implications for our long-term well-being. Prolonged periods of frustration and emotional disconnect have the potential to take a toll on our health and overall quality of life. Therefore, understanding and harnessing the power of gratitude may offer us an effective way to enhance our physical and emotional health, contributing to a more balanced and fulfilling life.
Gratitude doesn’t just have a positive impact on your heart, gratitude is related to 23 percent lower levels of stress hormones. Moreso, in a study doing two acts of gratitude each day reduced the risk of depression in at-risk patients by 41 percent over a six month period. So…science.
Let’s Talk About the Reality of Practicing Gratitude
Real talk for a minute. I’ve been there — I diligently wrote down three things I was grateful for every day, tried to focus on the bright side, and attempted to practice gratitude for an extended period. Yet, nothing seemed to change. I couldn’t shift my mindset or the narratives I was telling myself, especially during times when I wasn’t feeling well. It’s easy to dismiss the science and even roll your eyes at posts like this. I know I would have, until I hit rock bottom in so many areas of my life.
For me, gratitude always felt like bullshit. A thing you practice or try and then you give up on. But science says its good for you, so you try and try again.
The problem is, many of us have a misconstrued idea of what gratitude truly entails. We think it’s merely about saying thank you or jotting down a list of three things we’re grateful for. And while that might work for some, it didn’t work for me. When science assures us that gratitude works, and yet it doesn’t seem to make a difference in our lives, it’s easy to become disheartened. That’s when it’s time to reconsider our mindset and explore a new approach to gratitude.
Traditional + Non-Traditional Ways to Practice Gratitude
Keep a Gratitude Journal
Start a gratitude journal, and if you’ve tried it before with limited success, let’s get laser-focused this time. Document how you feel at the beginning, after 15 days, and then at the 30-day mark. To make it effective, don’t just list items; get descriptive about why you’re grateful for them. For example, “I’m grateful for my partner because they’ve been my rock during these tough times.”
Change Your Inner Narrative
It’s easy to fall into negative thought patterns and create an inner narrative that focuses on discomfort, self-doubt, or stress. But, it’s essential to challenge these narratives and remind yourself of the incredible strength within you. In this transformative period, you have the power to redefine your inner dialogue and shape your pregnancy experience.
Take this example for a moment, and instead of saying “I’m so uncomfortable all the time,” say, “My body is doing an incredible job of nurturing and growing my baby”
- Question the reality: Is it entirely true that you’re uncomfortable all the time, or are there moments of comfort too?
Shift your perspective by acknowledging the remarkable work your body is doing. You’re nurturing and growing a new life, which is a testament to your strength.
Thank Your Body and Your Baby
Dedicate a moment every day to express gratitude for your incredible body and the growing life within you. Whether it’s a simple “thank you” or a more elaborate acknowledgment, appreciating your body’s strength and your baby’s presence can be powerful.
Embrace Mirror Work
Take a few minutes each day to stand in front of a mirror, smile at yourself, give yourself a hug, and express gratitude for who you are. Affirm self-love and appreciation by saying something like “Love you babe”
Acknowledge and Release Negative Thoughts
When negative thoughts, frustration, or anger arise, acknowledge them without judgment. Let these emotions flow through you and then consciously choose to redirect your focus towards more constructive and positive thinking.
Remember, practicing gratitude isn’t about denying your feelings or pretending everything is perfect. It’s about recognizing the good, even in challenging times, and shifting your perspective towards a more positive and empowering mindset. These practices can help you navigate the ups and downs of pregnancy with grace and resilience.
